Sunday, May 6, 2012

Saturday fun

We got up early, went grocery shopping and then headed to Layton, so that Bob could help my Dad with cement for his driveway.  My Mom and I left and went shopping at Gordman's in Farmington, I'm afraid I've found my new favorite store.  I will definately be going back there.

After we went back to my parents, hung out, ordered pizza and sat around.  Daisy ran through the cement and got in trouble....poor dog!!

Then we came home...

Kids rode their bikes and scooters around.  Jax and Ash with no shoes.  I seriously don't get why they can't put shoes on, but Ashton has shoes on about 5% of the time.  His school is lucky he wears his shoes to school, he has even asked several times if he could take them off.  Glad the teacher has told him NO.

Lexi got the only thing she has requested for her birthday, her red cowgirl boots.  I don't get why the girl is so obsessed with shoes, but its bad.  I keep asking her what she wants for her birthday and all she told me was a cake and these boots.  I bought the boots Friday and let her have them.  I know I am bad, nothing ever makes it to their birthdays. 

My poor Jax has struggled a bit lately.  He advised me the other day in the car that he shouldn't have a brother or a sister, he doesn't like them.  I worry about him.  He had the hardest time after Ashton was born.  He was seriously the best baby and toddler ever, then Ashton was born and he hated me, didn't want anything to do with Ashton or I.  He loves 1:1 attention.  Today, we went for a drive just him and I, he needed to get away for a bit.  He told me the same thing AGAIN.  Only this time he said "Mom, you don't love me like you love Ashton and Lexi, you don't give me hugs and take me to lunch and all that stuff!"  I had to stop for a minute, because I tell my kids every single night, I never miss a night that I love them, I always give my kids hugs, but Ashton loves to give hugs like 50 times a day.  My heart hurts so much.  I called my Mom, because he was so mad and asked her to come get him, not because I wanted him gone, but I knew he needed time to think about things.  He knows I love him and that I would do anything in the world for him.  I love all my kids equally, there isn't one thing I would do for one that I wouldn't do for the other.  But how do you explain that to an almost 8 year old who thinks otherwise???

Being a parent is a struggle sometimes, being a parent to more than one child is even harder.  Having to find out every little thing about each one is hard.  All my kids are different, always have been.  Jax has seen a lot in his 8 years of life and I told myself last year I had to stop making excuses for him.  I've been a little bit harder on him this year, because I want him to succeed in life.  I want the best for him.  But at times like today, I can't help but wonder what he is thinking.

1 comment:

Eric and Jenny said...

Oh friend what a hard thing for Jaxon to being going through right now. I kind of know how you feel a little bit. I think it can be really hard for kids to understand how parents treat each kid a little differently, just because each kid is so different. I have to be so careful with my boys because Lance is very competitive with Luke. I think it must be being so close to the same age and both being boys. If I even say something innocent like "oh Luke you are so funny". Lance will pipe in with "well don't you think I am funny too".

Don't be too hard on yourself, I am sure it hurts to hear him say those things but I honestly think all kids go through moments like this especially as they get older and are more aware that moms and dads are not perfect or that sometimes life is not fair. I am sure deep down he knows you love him, it's probably just a phase maybe? Hang in there cute girl you are one amazing mom!