Friday, July 31, 2009

Field of Honor

Tonite we went to the Field of Honor, it was a neat experience! It makes you so much more thankful for the Men and Women in uniform who have sacrificed their lives and so much more for our freedom. I couldn't believe all the flags and I couldn't believe on the names on the Vietnam wall, it was truly amazing! Something I will remember forever and highly reccommend that if you live in Utah that you go, its a must! Its in Ogden at the Weber County Fair Grounds, its free!

The main reason I wanted to go was to find my friends sons Dad Jonathon Brostrom and after searching and searching and searching, we found it!!

Roy Days

Roy Days sucked this year! There were two rides and thats it! But we had a yummy dinner and enjoyed hanging with the family!

Beus Pond!

Well since Bob is suppose to walk two times a day we decided to make it fun and go to the pond in South Ogden. We use to go there all the time when we lived in Ogden. We took a ton of bread, but there were hardly any ducks at all, so we ended up throwing most of it away. We still had fun and enjoyed the fresh air!!

Bob Update:

Bob is doing good, he has his good and bad days. He scares me a lot, but I have learned to take it one day at a time. We went to the doctor on Tuesday and Bob was told everything he went through by his doctor. The Doctor told us that he didn't know how much longer Bob would've lived, because he thinks he would've had a heart attack any day and be dead. Its weird, I have always believed that everything happends for reason, but now I TRULY belive that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Bob also still has a lot of fluid on his lungs, so he was put on Lasix to help pee it off. We go back in 2 weeks for an ECHO and another Xray, so keep your fingers crossed its gone! For right now we are enjoying being home together until I go back to work in a week. BLAH!!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

To be a kid again...

Oh What I would do to be a kid again! Have no worries, run around like an animal, sleep when I wanted, have food made for me, not have bills to pay, not have to work, not have to worry about the way I looked or how I felt. Although I love being a Mom more than anything, at times it is very challenging. I find myself worrying about the weirdest things, like yesterday I debated for about 6 hours on whether I wanted to take the boys swimming today or not. I have a fear of my kids drowning, it scares me more than anything and I worry about it and get sick to my stomach over it. I worry about something bad happening to my kids more now than I ever have. I can't tell if this is all because of everything I have been through lately or just a normal thing a mother goes through. I love my kids more than I could ever say! I can't imagine anything bad ever happening to them, I am not sure I could ever move on with life. I am so protective over Lexi too, especially since I have found out she has a heart problem, nothing scares me more than to have to go through with Lexi what I just went through with my Husband. I have nightmares about this, I sometimes find myself in a daze thinking about it, I just want my little girl to be healthy, I already think she is perfect and no one could ever change my mind about that. Right now I think I need prayers of strength, Lexi goes for her appt. on September 2nd, I am preparing myself for the worse, but hoping and praying for the best. I know in the end, everything will work out, but I still worry and have a good reason too, I believe. Thanks everyone!!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Smiley Princess!

Lexi started smiling a few weeks ago, but I just got it on camera last night. I love her smile, it seriously melts my heart. She is changing so much and brings so much joy and happiness to this family! But she needs to slow down, I want her to be my baby FOREVER!!!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Happy Pioneer Day!!!

I love holidays! For the 24th, we had quite some fun! My Dad bought a brand new smoker and we had people over at his house and had a blast. Fireworks, Family, Friends and some fun, can't ask for anything more. Bob was feeling pretty exhausted, but he lasted.

Of course my camera died before it got dark and we did fireworks, so I used my Mom's and haven't uploaded her pics yet.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...its about learning to dance in the rain!!

Well things are getting better, slowly but surely. Bob is doing better everyday, he doesn't quite have his energy back, but we are working on it. We go back to the doctor on Tuesday for a follow up and to make sure everything is going good. My boys are finally home, my parents took them to Yellowstone for the week to keep their minds off of everything going on. I will post pictures once I get them from my parents. They had a blast, but I sure did miss them. When the boys first seen their Dad and what happened they weren't sure what to say. They did know their Daddy had a sick heart, but we didn't tell them all the things that could go on or that happened. Ashton is still very clingy and still won't let you leave without giving hugs and kisses. I guess its his way of responding and I am fine with it. Jax on the other hand handles things different and always has.

This is Bob's beauty mark, I think it looks great actually.

This is what happens when you are on an operating table for 14 hours. It looks a lot better now, it makes me sick though.

All in all everything is going good. I am glad he is home and doing well.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Day 4, 5 and 6

Day 4:

I arrived to Bob sitting in his chair still in ICU eating pancakes, I mean falling asleep staring at his pancakes, it was quite hilarious! Day 4 was a good day, he got up and walked. His oxygen was still really low, so he still had a hard time walking and moving around. At 10:30 we were advised by the doctors that make the rounds that he would be moving straight to the floor in stead of to IMCU (intermediate medical care unit). So this was a great thing and I couldn't be happier. It was funny, because after that Bob told his nurse that he needed to rest before he had to walk upstairs...Funny guy, he actually thought he had to walk upstairs. I guess its all the drugs! At 2:30pm we finally made our way upstairs to room 411 bed 1 (weird, I have never been in the hospital were I had to share a room and boy was this quite the experience. When we got up there they took him for another walk, he did good! The rest of the day was spent resting. A good day!

Day 5:

I realized on this day that I was exhausted, everything finally caught up to me. But I still managed to roll out of bed at 7am and head up to the hospital. When I got there Bob's breakfast was still sitting there untouched. He was getting mad because everyone came in that morning everytime he tried to eat. He had seen the cardiologist, the PA, the wound care team, the respitory therapist, the cardiac rehab therapist and his RN. I made him eat his fruit and then he went to sleep for a little bit before they came back to bug him again. I don't understand how they expect you to get rest in a hospital, because if they aren't poking you or taking your blood pressure then their asking you fifty questions. I left at 3pm and went home and took a shower and got Lexi. Bob had been wanting to see her so bad and I had debated on bringing her up there. After seeing other babies there, I knew she would be fine.

So we all bonded for a little bit, watched Hells Kitchen and then Lexi & I made our way home.

Day 6:

WE FINALLY GOT TO COME HOME. GOOD NEWS is that Bob is feeling a lot better today and the only medication he has to take besides pain pills is Aspirin. We are so happy to be home.

If it wasn't for all the prayers, thoughts, words of encouragement and love we wouldn't be sitting here right now. We have had so much support from family, friends and neighbors. My neighbor went out of her way to watch Lexi all the days except 2 and I am so thankful for her, she is a wonderful lady and has a wonderful family. Like I said in my post before I think this whole thing has made Bob and I so much closer. Thanks everyone! HOME SWEET HOME!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Day #3

Well we had quite the eventful day today. I arrived at the hospital around 10am, he had already walked and did good. When I got there they were get ready to take the A line out of his neck. He was excited! He got that out and I couldn't believe how big it was. After that they switched his lovely dress as he calls it to a clean one. Then him and I talked about the kids, I told him that the boys asked about him again and that they were having fun. He said he missed them and I know he does. Its so hard on him, but he is doing so good and I believe they keep him fighting.

After being there a little bit, Bob dropped his oxygen in the 80s and the nurses kind of freaked. But don't worry he brought it back up to the high 90s with the help of the face mask above. He looks great, he has color to him and everything. There is one good thing that we have gotten from this, this whole thing has made Bob and I so close, I can't imagine my life with out him. The saying, you never know how much you have until its gone is so true. Yes Bob is NOT gone and he is NOT going anywhere, but not having him at home and having him so sick is hard. I miss him so much, I miss the way he talks to the TV, even though it aggravates me. I miss him cooking dinner, I miss him talking to me, I miss him doing the little things to make me mad. I miss it all and I can't wait to have it back.

This machine has all his drugs and fluids. Right now he is on an antibiotic, some fluids, pain meds and lasix (helps him pee to get the fluid out of his lungs and from around his heart).

These are called chest tubes, they are in his incisions and are getting rid of fluid around his heart. Its a good thing to have that gone. It looks like a lot, but I guess its normal.

After being on an operating table for 14 hours this is bound to happen. Bob has blisters on his back and they are huge and look so painful, but they are taking care of them with some cream.

Bob also lost his A-line today in his wrist, not the easy way though. I noticed that it was coming out and called the nurse, he came in and sure enough it exploded not even 20 seconds later and blood was everywhere. Bob got a little queezy, but all was good after about 10 minutes of pressure and he was cleaned up.

I have to say that I am so thankful all my family and friends who have kept me strong and positive through this whole thing. Bob has gotten a little discouraged by some things, but I remind him of all the prayers being sent his way and all the people thinking about him and asking about him. He truly has tons of people watching out for him and wondering about him. It makes me smile! I also remind him about a hundred times while I am there how good he is doing. He advised me today when I was leaving that he wasn't giving up. It made me cry, because I know he won't. On Friday night when I seen him, I truly thought I lost him, but he is back and almost all back. One thing about Bob is that he always tells me how pretty I am and even with how horrible he felt today, he took the effort to tell me. I love you Bob and we will get through this. 3 days down!!!