Finally

I thought she'd never ride a bike.  It has taken everything in us to finally get her to ride a bike.  We got this bike over a year ago and she has wanted NOTHING to do with it.  I even bribed her with getting another bike and it didn't work.  Well she is officially riding a bike now and maybe just maybe she'll get a new one.

My Little Girl

Beautiful, Sassy, Intelligent, Driven, Sweet, Heartbreaker, Independent, Crazy, Loveable, Free spirit, Bright, determined, picky, pretty, Princess, All girl. 

My beautiful baby girl, how I wish the time didn't pass so quickly.  This girl is full of life, she doesn't miss a beat.  And in 3 short weeks, she will officially be three.  I can't believe it.  I can't believe she does all that she does, accomplishes all that she has, is as smart as she is and as fiesty as they come.  She keeps us on our toes and constantly on the go.  She is bossy.

About two weeks before our vacation, the Marketing director for Citi contacted Bob and I to share Lexi's story for March of Dimes, who knew that our story would be shared with the entire world one day.  Well it will be....currently its on Citi's blog.  Its hard to think sometimes of all we went through to get Lex here and at times its hard to believe that it happened.  She has far turned every hurdle thrown her way and has proven doctors wrong in many areas.  I hope, if anything her story is hope for someone else.  I know I read stories that were hope for me to not give up. I hope that there is a Mom, Grandma, Aunt, Dad or some other family member that needs to hear Lexi's story and I hope that they know that at the time things seem hard, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, miracles do happen and EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

I also hope my daughter can look back one day and see how she CHANGED the world.  If you are on FB, go to Citibank US and like their page, our story will be there tomorrow for the whole world.  Right now, it just shows a picture of Bob and I saying that our story will be shared. 

How blessed we are... 

Lifesaver

So right before vacation, I talked about what was going on with Jaxon and how we were 95% sure Jaxon had Asberger. At the time I was nervous about what the future held for us.  I wasn't sure I was ready to take this on, but I had/have no choice. So I did a lot of talking with another friend thats in the same situation as me with his Son.  He went on and on and on about Doterra Oils I have heard of them, but never knew exactly how they worked. So I researched and took a class on them and I am SOOOOOO happy with the results. I have been using Lavender on Jax for 2 months now and he is a whole new kid. We rub the lavender on his spine and the bottom of his feet every single night before bed. It has helped him sleep and he is doing a lot better.

I swear by these oils, no joke. I plan on buying many more and using them for more things. Luckily I have a friend at work who sells it and she has the whole book about oils and how they work and everything.

Mutiple Sclerosis

My Mom was diagnosed over 15 years ago with this nasty disease.  Many have never heard of it and if they have, they have no clue what it can do.  Lately, I've been thinking a lot about things and there have been few times where I have cried seeing what this nasty disease has done and is doing to my Mom.

She struggles on a daily basis to even get out of bed and get moving.  She WILL NOT walk much longer and will require a walker or wheelchair.  She will probably lose her eye sight and more than likely feelings in her arms and legs.  She doesn't get to run, hike or anything with her grand kids anymore and I am sad about it.   I HATE MS!  I feel like my Mom has been robbed by this disease.  I feel like people take for granted the things they have and are able to do.  I wish there was a cure for it.  I wish I didn't have to watch my Mom suffer on a daily basis.  I wish she was herself again and most of all, I wish MS never existed.

So my note to you, don't take the little things for granted like being able to walk to your car or hold your child or Grand child, because you NEVER KNOW!

I love you Mom and we'll get through this TOGETHER, because thats what we do.

Waterfall Canyon

For the last two years we have talked and talked and talked about hiking Waterfall Canyon.  I've hiked it several times as a child and well I woke up this morning and said to Bob "Lets be spontaneous, lets hike Waterfall Canyon, all five of us!"  He said "OKAY!"  So we left at 8:45am, stopped to buy Lex some shoes good for hiking, because out of the 50 pairs of shoes she has, she had NOTHING to hike in.    So we got to the trail about 15 after.  It was beautiful and perfect weather, but about 30 mins into it, the sun popped over the mountain and it got HOT.

Sorry a couple of the pictures are blurry.  But we had fun.  We DID NOT make it all the way.
  We were short by a quarter of a mile, Lex wouldn't stop crying that her legs hurt and I was done myself.  I am WAY out of shape.  My goal this summer is to get back into shape.  I've got to for my kids sake.

SN:  I forgot to note that its a 3 mile hike round trip and its all UP hill on the way there, so your downhill going back.  Its a beautiful hike and I suggest if you go, going super early, it gets busy.

Photoshop 10

Recently, I've learned some new things about Photoshop 10 and I am in love with it and obsessed with editing pictures even more now.

These are just a few I've played around with.  I've learned how to make the eyes not look dark.  Yes, I'm addicted to photography. 

What is LOVE?

I've read this girls blog for about a year now.  I love her posts.  And yesterday she wrote this:
Love is simple.
Love is unique.
Love is endless.
Love is patience.
Love is learning.
Love is growing.
Love is fear.
Love is hope.
Love is dreams.
Love is small.
Love is big.
Love is a boggy nose.
Love is spending hours holding that crying baby doing everything to help them feel better.
Love is sickness.
Love is health.
Love is helping your baby poop because she cant get it out herself.
Love is spit up down your shirt.
Love is late night steam baths when someone gets a cold.
Love is sitting next to you in a hospital bed.
Love is never leaving even when I'm a blubbery mess because I know you need me.
Love is selfless.
Love is letting go.
Love is your future.
Love is forever.
So it got me thinking.  People think love is when you find this guy in High School or Junior High and you think he is the world, he wins you over by writing you love notes.  In most cases that isn't always correct.  To ME, love is so hard to explain.  I love my kids so much that I will never be able to explain it to them.  They will kind of know what I mean when they have kids of their own.  I love my Husband so much and I can't imagine my life without him, even though at times I want to scream at him (and I do).

But when I really figured out how much I loved my Husband was when he came out of his 14 hr open heart surgery and I had to look at how beat up he was.  While he was lying there without a clue that he was in the worse shape of his life.  I realized that I loved him more than I thought I could.  I realized that I wasn't going to be okay if he wasn't.  And I realized that truly LOVE is fear, sickness, health, big and forever. 

So what is LOVE to you?

Easter 2012

I know, it was what almost 9 days ago and I am feeling guilty, we did NOTHING for Easter and I mean NOTHING.  The truth is I had just returned from a 11 day exhausting vacation and I wasn't feeling it.  I went shopping on Saturday for Easter gifts, didn't even set them out, I gave them to my kids (Yes, another feel guilty moment).  I wanted to be in bed early and knew I would probably be asleep before my two older monkeys.  Well I was indeed asleep early.  When I handed them the "Easter Bunny" gifts, Jax said "Mom, you do know that the Easter bunny comes at night, not during the day!"  I said "I know Jax, but I had to meet with him early before we left, because I didn't know if we would be back from vacation."  He said "Mom, I know who the Easter bunny is and Santa and all of that!"  I said "Jax, when you stop believing, they stop coming!"  And well we left it at that.  I am sad though about it and I have thought long and hard about it.  My oldest baby isn't a baby anymore, he wears a size 5 shoe, YES, size 5, SAD and will be taller than me by the time he is a teenager.  So I sat him down and told him the truth and he didn't say a word, I think he was shocked to hear that his suspisions were right all along.  I told him that his two other siblings were still too young and that he had to play along, he agreed.  I don't remember what age I was when I stopped "believing", even though I believe now, you do too right?  I thought Jax knew his first year of school when some older kid told him that believing in Santa was stupid.  That kid I hope didn't get anything for Christmas. 

So back to Easter....or what I would like to call my recovery day.  Since Saturday was jam packed with getting a car wash, oil change (since we returned from vacation and driving 3,000 miles), buying Easter gifts, grocery shopping (because my kids weren't sure they were going to get fed), unpacking, organizing things (Oh wait, I am still doing that) and getting back in to the groove of things.  So Sunday came, I got up, ran some errands and came home and took a FOUR HOUR NAP, yes, that is right.  We didn't do a big huge Easter lunch/dinner, we didn't go on a egg hunt, we didn't get together with family (we had been together for 11 days straight, I'm sure my parents needed a break) and we didn't discuss the Easter bunny.  We DID NOTHING.  I took a nice long nap and did laundry and was in bed by 8pm, it was great.  Although, now I am regretting it.  I regret not getting dressed up, not having deviled eggs, not having an egg hunt, not having my kids excited about the bunny and not getting together with my family.  BUT, I know there is always next year.  And I am STILL recovering from my vacation and its almost two weeks.  I can't seem to get back in the groove of things, I can't seem to NOT feel tired.  WHY? 

But I do want to mention that my kids do have the best Aunt in the world, I cannot believe how much she spoiled them, she brought them each over a basket full of stuff and totally beat this Mom is the Easter gift field.  She got Lex a pink basket with dizzy dancers, a coloring book, crayons and other goodies.  Jax got a blue basket with some boy toys (sorry, I don't remember the names) and some goodies and Ash a green basket with the same.  My kids were thrilled, as was my sister in just giving it to them  My kids are lucky to have an Aunt who adores each of them and would do anything in the world for them.  From us, my boys got new helmets for their new bikes they got before we left and Lex got a coloring book and markers and bubbles.

So Happy Easter 9 days late.

Nothing feels better...

than getting your hair done.  I could get it done weekly if I could afford it and my hair loved it.  I feel fresh and amazing after a new hair do day.  I haven't done the same thing to my hair ever.  This time I did a burgundy dark color and Caramel highlights.  I love it and I love my Hairdresser.

Don't grow up

The other day my Mom posted something about how she use to tuck us girls in bed every night and give us a kiss and how she missed it and would do anything to have it back.  It really got me thinking, when we are little we rush time and can't wait to be 5 to go to school, then we can't wait to be 10, then 16, then 21 and so on.  Now that I am almost 30 I am okay with staying where I am.

My sassy little spit fire will be 3 years old in a month from TODAY.  I don't want her to grow up.  I want her to stay little, I want to be the person she needs every day for the rest of her life.  I want to be the one that can make everything better.  Why do they have to grow up.  I will have an 8, 6 and 3 year old in less than 2 months and I am not liking that.  I want my kids to stay the age they are right now.

Highlights from our trip

Now that I have each day blogged, I wanted to talk about some things that happened or some memories.

*One morning after a shower (I made Lex shower with me to save time), Lex got out of the shower and screamed "Mom, there is a big animal in here!"  I for the life of me couldn't figure out what she meant.  I look down to where she is pointing and its a fish fly, she thought it was an animal, she kept yelling "Get the animal out of here!"  We got out of the bathroom and my Dad asked about it.  I said "Your grand daughter thinks a fish fly is an animal."

*Jax would get up every morning at 5:30am with my Grandpa, his Great Grandpa and go for a 4-5 mile walk, he loved it.  I still think he is crazy.  But Jax thrives off of one-on-one time.

*Our night at Cook's Childrens Hospital, they send in a child life specialist to talk to your child about getting an IV.  This guy was the AMAZING, actually that doesn't even describe him.  He was the BEST.  He asked Ashton what he wanted to be when he grew up, Ash said "a singer!"  The guy was thrown, I don't think he expected that, so he said "really?  whats your favorite song to sing?"  Ash Said "Dynamite song!"  The guy knew what Ash meant and found the song on his phone.  While Ash got his IV and didn't even flinch, he sang the entire song while my Step-Grandmother danced the entire time.  The life specialist was rolling, he said "this is the best night ever!"  It truly was a night to remember, thats for sure.

*Bob and I getting losted and taking the wrong road while we would should've been on the road that the torando was on.  Seriously, someone was watching over us.  I had no clue the sirens going off where for a tornado warning.  HELLO!!!  I LIVE IN UTAH!!!! 

*While at Turner Falls, my Grandpa finally convinced Lex to go in the water, but he quickly rolled her pants up so they wouldn't get wet.  Seriously, I loved that moment.  Not many 76 year old men think about things like that.

*While at the "The Mint" Ash said "Mom, this has got to be the coolest thing ever!"  Seriously how many five year olds think that?

*On Sunday, My Mom, Bonnie and I all sat down for 3 hours and went through pictures, it was fun to look back at all the things we did while living there and many other things.  Bonnie is amazing, I don't think I can say that enough.  She had a kidney transplant a little over a year ago and is doing AMAZING.  She is seriously super women.  I love her so much.

*Going to church, I don't know what it was, but the preacher was amazing, the service was amazing and I walked away feeling good.  My goal by June is to find a church for my family, I want and need to go.

*Snuggling with my Ash, although I would've much rather him not been sick, I did get lots and lots of snuggle time with him.  I hate when my babies are sick and there was one night on got down on my knees and begged for someone to make him feel better, I couldn't take another day of it. 

We really did have the time of our lives, the good far out ways the bad.  We have so many good memories, I wish Ash would've felt better, but I can't take that back.  I loved the drive there, the time spent with my Grandparents and the time spent with my Mom and Dad.  I was fine with the drive back until day 3, too many days in the car.  I wanted to be home.  Our next trip will be to Moab in September, I can't wait.  Bob and I are planning something for just us, but we haven't decided where yet.

HOME

This day was the longest day of my life.  I wanted to be HOME, thats it.  I didn't want to be in the car another second.  After 5 hrs of the car, I had, had it.  My Mom and Dad wanted to go over this mountain that is 10,990 feet tall, I said "what the heck, we'll follow!!"  But I shouldn't have agreed to it.  Although it was beautiful, I just wasn't feeling it.

We left Pagosa around 8:30, went over the moutain and it took 5 hrs, we got stuck behind a semi, then we had head wind the entire rest of the way home.  We finally arrived in our drive-way at 7:19pm, I was tired and not wanting to be in the car at all.

We really did have a lovely trip, I don't know when we'll go to Texas again.  I wish my Grandparents lived closer and I know they do too, but their home is Texas and if thats where they need to be, then I am okay with it.  My Kids loved every minute of the trip minus Ash, he isn't too sure Texas treated him good.  We had so many memories to store in our books and I loved every minute of it.

Now its back to reality, back to work, to schedules, to recovering from vacation and saving money for our next trip.  We haven't quite decided where we are going, but it looks like California might be it.  We will see.

Day 9 - Santa Fe to Pagosa Springs

We woke after an extremely good night sleep, its amazing how much a good mattress can do.  We hit the road around 8:30, our drive this day was short, we only had 4 hrs to drive.

This drive was beautiful, I could hardly believe the scenery.

We then stopped off at this place called "Echo Ampitheather", it was really neat and we hiked up to the ampitheater, which was a rock.

And right before we left, this little guy above popped out of a hole, I have no clue what it is.  I think he looks like a mouse, Bob says its a mole. 

Then we headed to one of my favorite places right now...Pagosa Springs, I highly recommend it to anyone, its about 8 hrs away, but totally worth it.

We stayed at "The Springs Resort", it was not cheap, but we felt a pretty good deal for 7 people and access to 23 hot springs to soak in was included.

We soaked for about 4 hours.  Tempatures in the pools range from 41 (which is the river and its called the Berg) to 116, the highest Bob and I got into was 112, which was called the Lobster.  There are 23 pools and 5 are for 18 and older only.  We really loved it and Bob and I plan to go back, just the two of us.

After soaking we headed to dinner over the bridge from our hotel to this Mexican Restaurant that we went to last time we accidently ended up in Pagosa Springs and that is how we discovered it. 

After dinner, we headed back to our room for treats and relaxation before our LONG drive HOME the next day.

This was the first day that Ash was himself in over a week.  I felt a little bit better about letting him not sleep by my side.  He had energy, he ate and he didn't nap all day like the days before.  I was so happy to have him back.