Lately I've been thinking, I seem to do that a lot these days. I think about things on my way to work, while I'm showering, while at work working, while trying to relax.
Had I know a year ago that I'd be in Texas and not in Utah, I would've done thing different.
I would have spent more time soaking in the sun at the lake with my Family. I would've visited my parents more frequently and spent more time at their house. I would've taken my kids to do things that we didn't do before. I would've looked at the mountains more frequently and taken them in. I would've appreciated the life I lived more.
But things happen in life, changes happen and you can't always prepare yourself for the future. I thought I'd be in Utah for the rest of my life. And even though Bob and I talked about moving, I never thought I'd end up in Texas.
I miss the little things.
Having my parents close.
The sound of the jets (freedom) flying over my house.
Driving by the base everyday.
And the bigger things I miss are my Family and Friends. Explaining how much this hurts is so hard. So many times during the day I think of something and I cry. Lately I've questioned whether I made the right decision. I keep leaning towards I did, but does the pain of missing the little things and the BIG things EVER go away?
Listening to my three year talk about going back home hurts. She is three, she shouldn't be telling me she wants to go back. She said today "Mommy, Grandma can babysit me, its okay!" Her way of saying "Lets go home!"
I want to go home too. I want to be where I know everything, by my family and friends. I miss it, soooooo bad!!!