Easter Sunday

Our Easter is kind of low key, the boys just got home from the ocean this afternoon.

Bob, Lex and I went to church early this morning, it was nice and definitely needed.  I love our church and I need to be better at going every Sunday, because I walk away from there feeling so good.

Finally got some good pictures of Lex in her Easer dress.  She is growing up way too fast.

Easter Egg Hunt

It doesn't feel like Easter, my boys are gone and my Family isn't here, well my Mom, Dad and Sisters.  It just doesn't seem right and I'm extremely homesick.

But we set that aside and went and had fun today.

 

The Easter egg hunt was right by the Dallas Cowboys stadium and the Texas Rangers stadium.  It was really neat to see them up close.

 

Lex was sending kisses to Utah.  Missing home so much lately.

 

The egg hunt was a complete and utter nightmare.  But Lex didn't know any different and thought it was fun.

The little things

Lately I've been thinking, I seem to do that a lot these days.  I think about things on my way to work, while I'm showering, while at work working, while trying to relax.

Had I know a year ago that I'd be in Texas and not in Utah, I would've done thing different.

I would have spent more time soaking in the sun at the lake with my Family.  I would've visited my parents more frequently and spent more time at their house.  I would've taken my kids to do things that we didn't do before.  I would've looked at the mountains more frequently and taken them in.  I would've appreciated the life I lived more. 

But things happen in life, changes happen and you can't always prepare yourself for the future.  I thought I'd be in Utah for the rest of my life.  And even though Bob and I talked about moving, I never thought I'd end up in Texas. 

I miss the little things.

Having my parents close.

Café rio

The sound of the jets (freedom) flying over my house.

Driving by the base everyday.

My mountains.

The lakes.

The scenery.

And the bigger things I miss are my Family and Friends.  Explaining how much this hurts is so hard.  So many times during the day I think of something and I cry.  Lately I've questioned whether I made the right decision.  I keep leaning towards I did, but does the pain of missing the little things and the BIG things EVER go away?

Listening to my three year talk about going back home hurts.  She is three, she shouldn't be telling me she wants to go back.  She said today "Mommy, Grandma can babysit me, its okay!"  Her way of saying "Lets go home!"

I want to go home too.  I want to be where I know everything, by my family and friends.  I miss it, soooooo bad!!!

Instagram Update #3 - March

 

My beautiful Mommy just celebrated her 53rd Birthday, miss her more and more everyday.

 

Flat Stanley is headed to Utah to hang out with Aunt Miranda and return to Ashton's first grade class.

 

Ashton rockin his new shades.

 

My life

 

Cotton in ears and beanie on and she is ready to tackle the wind

 

So interested in whatever he is staring at.

 

Chopped all my hair off.

 

This boy is ALWAYS dancing

 

He has to be part human

 

Favorite licorice ever and hadn't tried this flavor, the watermelon is still my favorite.

 

Its 5am and she is wearing her sunglasses

 

Poor girl was still recovering from a blown ear drum and a double ear infection

 

Snorkel set for the ocean, lucky boy

 

Hot, hot

 

Crazy dog

 

Another snorkel set for the Ocean.

 

And that is that, my boys are gone and its quiet in my house.

I miss ME

This last week was hard for me.  It was hard for me to be happy, hard to smile and hard NOT to cry.  I miss home.  I miss my family and friends like crazy, its indescribable.  I wanted to pack up and drive home. 

Why?  Why do I feel this way? 

Is it because my family was just here?

Is it because I haven't met very many people?

Is it because I was sick and well when your sick, you're emotional?

Or is this just normal to feel this way?

Its been almost 3 months since I've been gone, but it feels like an eternity.  I feel like I haven't seen my Dad or my Best Friend Misty or my co-workers in Utah in FOREVER.  I hate this feelings, its horrible, its exhausting, it leaves your mind racing, its just not fun at all.

And then the sad thing is, I don't miss Utah AT ALL, I hated Utah, I was unhappy with Utah, I didn't want to stay in Utah.  But I want everything in Utah, I want my house, my family, my friends and everything that surrounded me.  I want the comfort of knowing everything, the comfort of knowing my kids were okay, that's what I want.

Everyone I talk to says this is normal, I like to think it is too.  But some days I wonder. 

I couldn't even clear my mind enough to think last week at work.  I'm never like that ever.

So this week, I'm focusing on finding out what I need to do to be happy.  My boys are leaving for the ocean on Wednesday, and although I'll miss them like crazy and I'm super jealous, this will give me time to think about where I'm headed and what I need to do feel somewhat normal.  The good news is that my friend from work is moving here in less than a month and I love his Wife and I think we could help each other a TON.  So I'm looking forward to that a ton.

Easter Pictures

 

Normally I get the most pictures with Lex, but not this time, I got the best pictures of my boys.

 

Jaxon has changed so much, its unbelievable. 

 

 

My Ashton, he is growing up and losing the baby look, which makes me sad.

 

Both of my boys will be at the ocean on Easter having fun with their Great Grandparents, how lucky are they?

Instagram Update Part 2 - March

 

My girl and I

At the Dallas World Aquarium

 

Me and two of the most important in my life...

 

At the Fort Worth Water Gardens

More of the Dallas World Aquarium

 

My Ashton crashed one night on the floor

 

Just riding a bike

 

Jaxon eating his favorite Breakfast from McDonalds

 

More Dallas World Aquarium

 

My necklace I ordered with my kids names on it.

 

The sun coming up

 

Jaxon loves to mow the lawn, him and his Dad fight over who is going to mow.

 

Getting our tan on.

 

More Fort Worth Water Gardens

 

Officially a Texan, definitely bittersweet.

 

Ashton riding a pony

 

Ashton's invention

 

Ashton with his ginormous subway sandwich

 

We asked for a large tea and got a LARGE tea

 

Fresh looking haircut

 

Just my girl

 

Lexi conquering her fear and riding a pony

 

Family dinner out at Applebees

 

Two people who I look up to more than anyone

 

Sassy

 

Princess and Ninja Turtles

 

Early Birthday celebration for my Mom

 

The Dallas World Aquarium again

 

Love these two

 

Bike riding

 

Downtown Dallas

 

Goofy Dog

 

Lex eating Seaweed

 

A good Texas Thunderstorm

 

Two puppies that mean the world to me

 

More Dallas World Aquarium

 

My sleeping beauty

 

My Grandpa Peavy's grave

 

Just me and my boy

 

More of the Aquarium

 

So photogenic

 

These two NEVER do this, definitely a picture moment

 

And more aquarium

 

Lexi riding the train at the Stockyards

 

She could jump for hours