Positive thoughts

I haven't said anything about what is going on, because I guess I am still in shock myself. But I feel for Jax that I need to write down my thoughts about everything that has happened. So here we go...
Jax goes to the doc every month, the poor kid has been through a lot and out of all of our kids has understood the most. He struggled over the last year to find himself, he had Bob and I worried sick and since March has made a complete 180. Jax has the biggest heart and he never gives up, but at times he keeps his emotions bottled up and lets loose all at once. So in May, his doctor discovered that Jax heart didn't sound good. This was news to me, I was sure Jax heart was perfect and had nothing wrong with it. But out of my 3 kids, Jax was the only one not to have a fetal echo at 24 weeks. And honestly this didn't cross my mind until today. So his doctor didn't want to do anything just yet and then last week Jax went in again and this time he dropped 6lbs, its a lot for a growing 6 year old. Jax eats good, he never stops eating and he isn't gaining weight at all. SO...I leave after being at the doc office and nothing was said about his heart. So I feel pretty good that everything is okay...WELL, I was wrong. I got a phone call from his doc later that night and he leaves me a message saying he forgot to tell me he wanted to run some tests on Jax. Tests!!! I was thinking like learning tests or hearing tests or other tests, I never once thought tests on his heart ever. So on Monday morning at 8am, my phone rings and its him, he advises me that he has a sick feeling that we should do tests on Jax heart or he will regret it if we don't. My heart immediately dropped to my knees. Jax has always been healthy, he never gets sick, he has an immune system that I wish all my kids had. But with him losing weight and the doctor hearing a major heart murmur he felt it was only right to run some tests. So off to Primary Childrens we went today, I got the phone call Monday and they got us in today, I was amazed, then I found out we weren't meeting with the doc and knew thats why we got in so fast. But I am upset that I have to wait, I hate the waiting game and I am a little suspicious about everything. And the reasons for my suspisions on because they came in about 5 more times after they were done to get another shot of his heart. But I am confident that we are in good hands and that the right decision, if any will be made once again. I know part of the worry is because of Bobs condition and how serious it was, so I am thankful that we are getting this out of the way. But I was bummed because I just paid Primary Childrens off and we are back there racking up the bill once again.
But tomorrow, the boys, Bob and I are headed to Park City to play and shop and I can't wait...we have waited so long for this and finally its here.