Changes

During the last 6 months A LOT has happened.  I find myself daily thinking about all the changes.  We went from living a normal routine to complete chaos.  Some days I feel like I'm just temporarily in Texas, not permanently.  In Utah our routine was pretty simple, Bob would drop me at work, take the kids to my Mom's, come to work and then we would leave together and get the kids.  We were use to it and it worked.  Fridays, I would get off early and pick up all the kids, he would just meet me at home.

When we got to Texas, we weren't sure what was happening with Bob.  We didn't know if he'd be flying back to Utah, if he would even get a transfer with his current or what.  We prepared ourselves for the worse (which would be sending him back) and hoped for the best.    As of April 1st he became a Texas employee and was able to keep the same position with the same company whom he has been with for the last 22 years.  Huge blessing and huge relief.  During the 4 months he was able to stay and work onsite with me.  So he has drove pretty much every single day with me. 

Our new routine was hard to adjust to, we now travel 45-50 mins to work on a GOOD day, we drop Lex off at daycare, go into work together, Bob leaves before me to pick up Lex and comes back and gets me and we head home, which is 50 to an hour drive going home due to traffic.  A lot less traffic at 5am in the morning.  By the time we get home, we're exhausted, a little touchy and don't really feel like doing much. 

Almost two months ago we received the news that Lex daycare was closing.  This was heartbreaking because we just put Lex through a huge change, she went from having her Grandma watch her to complete strangers.  She went from not having much of a routine to a very strict routine.  She adjusted well and has loved it minus a few days of tears in the morning, but I'll say that was due to not feeling well. 

When we got the news, I hadn't a clue what I would do, I couldn't worry about it at the moment.  I had just moved 1,400 miles away from everything I knew and the last thing I wanted to hear was that I would be flipping my daughters life upside down AGAIN.

Well they say that everything happens for a reason and I totally believe it.  My Cousin will be moving here in two weeks to be our Nanny.  This works out perfect for her and us.  She wants to be out of her parents home and we would rather have someone we know watch Lex.  On Friday, we gave our two weeks notice to Lex daycare.  It was hard, I've grown to love this place in the short time we've been there.  But a lot of changes have happened at the daycare and Lex has questions about it everyday.  Who knew that a 3 year old could know so much about life?  Not me. 

Due to my cousin moving here, we've moved the boys into rooms together.  They haven't shared a room in a little over 2 years, so its a little interesting, but working out good. 

I feel like my life is full of changes right now.  Going through all the first Holidays away from home.  Having to mail my cards to my parents and family instead of giving them to them in person.  Answering questions from my kids on why Grandma, Grandpa and their aunts and uncle aren't here in Texas with us.  Learning to do new things while my family is 1,400 miles away.  Learning to cope with the emotions of my parents missing out on the things my kids are doing now.  How do people do this?  How do military people live a normal life?  Its hard, so hard.  Every single day I struggle.  I went from having my parents 10 mins away to 22 hrs away.  I hate it.  I don't regret my decision, I think I made the right one, but I wonder how long it'll take to feel normal again.  Right now I'm going through throwing my kids a party without their grandparents, aunts and uncle here. 

Change is hard, but in the END, I think it'll be worth it and I'll look back and say I DID IT!!!