Monday, January 30, 2012

January Blues

Ugh, I've been in this weird funk lately. Everything and EVERYONE bothers me. I even bother there such thing? I get easily frustrated with myself, my kids and my husband.

I've had 5 meltdowns in the last 2 days. Yeah, sad I know.

I have good reasons for my meltdowns.

1. I've been sick for over a week with a stupid sinus infection. I even told Bob at one point that I wanted to cut my nose off. I found out that I take for granted how glorious it is to be able to breathe out of both nostrils. Never again.  And I'm still trying to kick the stupid cold.

2. An unexpected call from a radiologist about Lexi. She is extremely back up and after 2 days of trying to clean her out and NOTHING happening, looks like we'll be going to our favorite place....Primary Children's. The girl can't win. Its one thing after another. We aren't sure whats going on. It could be a number of things, right now, I can't think about them.

3. I need some hot warm weather, I need the sun. The more I stay in Utah, the more I realize how much I HATE the cold. But how do you pick up and leave a state that you have known for the last 20 years and leave just can't happen.

4. My baby sister is moving to Texas, she has met an amazing guy and leaves on March 9th. I'm happy for her and even though we don't see each other all the time, its going to feel weird.

5. I realize in the last several months that I need to work on the relationship with my other Sister, things haven't been the same for a while now due to events that happened last August.  It breaks my heart and makes me sad.

6. I feel bad complaining about my kids especially knowing that I have friends that have been trying for awhile to have kids. BUT....THEY ARE DRIVING ME INSANE, the other reason I need warmer weather. I have got to have them out of the house for more than 30 mins where they aren't coming in frozen solid.

7.  I've been getting on my Husbands nerves and he in return on mine.  He is working full time and doing school full time.  I have to keep the kids quiet for hours on week nights and well thats not always possible.  But on Mondays and Thursday while he has his classes, I have to really shut them up.  So its an hour of threats to keep them calm.  The other day I lost it myself (again I wasn't feeling good), my daughter likes to harass our dog and after telling her to quit picking up the dog by her neck for the 100th time, I couldn't do it anymore.  I yelled (and feel extremely bad) at Bob about how convienent it was for him to have school when it was 20 degrees outside and we could do NOTHING like it was his fault that school started when it did.  Then last night, I just wanted to go to bed by 9pm, thats it.  Well he was up doing homework and I flipped again.  I told him this morning "I just need to run away for a bit with no access or contact with anyone or anything and I'll be good."  Did I mean it?  Yes, part of it, I will need access to the internet....LOL  Not that I am leaving, I couldn't do it, but doesn't mean I haven't dreamed about it.

These are the reasons for my January blues, good thing there is only 1 day left and I only have 58 days until my vacation to somewhere warmer....TEXAS.

I'm sure I'll be fine, I'm really not CRAZY even though I feel like it.  I just need a non-sick week and a good nights sleep....thats it!


Eric and Jenny said...

Have a good cry and a good nights sleep that always works for me!

January is a tricky month isn't it? If it were not for my birthday I might find myself in a slump as well, thankfully birthday week always cheers me up.

Hope everything works out for Lex, poor girl she really can't catch a break, neither can you for that matter!

Ali said...

I'm sorry. I agree, January sucks! Go scream into a pillow and use our mattress as a punching bag! I hope things start to look up for you soon hun.

Sunset Stanley said...

Ugh! I'm sorry.. I've been right there with you lately. I'm so incredibly stressed out and I'm totally not myself. I hope everything is okay with Lex. I know that would put me over the edge without all the other stuff to deal with too. Text me! We need to go out to lunch SOON!