Well todays appt didn't go as expected and I have bawled and bawled and bawled and bawled and my eyes are so red that I can barely see. There is nothing that hurts worse than being told that your daugher isn't better first of all and then that there is nothing they can do right now. Lexis official diagnosis is pulmonary stenosis (The pulmonary valve opens to let blood flow from the right ventricle to the lungs. Narrowing of the pulmonary valve (valvar pulmonary stenosis) causes the right ventricle to pump harder to get blood past the blockage.)and well its not good news. And basically its a waiting game to see what will be done, there is a small miracle it could fix itself, but most of the time people go into heart failure (like Bob did) and have to have it fixed. Could be years, could be months, never know. All I know is that I am ONE BIG emotional wreck right now. Of course it doesn't help that I just went through this with my Husband, it doesn't help that my mind is fresh from everything we went through in the last 6 months. It doesn't help that I have hundreds of thousands of medical bills lingering over my head and everyone wants something. Its frustrating, hard, sad and everything else that goes along with it. So if I could set my emotions aside and all the images in my head, then I could probably grip this nightmare and hope for the best, but prepare for the worse. But I can't, its hard and anyone that has been through something like this knows. Its so easy to say, "don't worry about it" or "everything will work out in the end". But how do I get there, how do I get past everything else. I just want my sweet baby girl to be better. I just want good news, is that asking too much?
So thats my bad news, the good news...Well she is doing awesome in everything else, she is gaining weight, she is so tall that she is off the charts. She is eating good, looks good and I love her to pieces. So once again, I am asking, if you could spare a few prayers, please send them our way, we could really use them right now for strength and courage to get through this.
Lexi weighs 16lbs 6oz, this is the most weight she has gained in 2 months. She is in the 70% percentile on weight, off the charts on height and 25% percentile in the head area. Tiny head, but a very cute girl.
2 comments:
Sorry to hear this friend, what can I say...I admire your faith and love so very much. Truly believe you will be looked over and Lexi will be fine. Like you say it is getting to that point that will be the hard part. Hang in there...
I am so sorry for all the worry and grief you are having to go through, you are right it's just silly to say don't worry about it all will be fine. That is our mother's nature to worry about our families, thinking of you and her....
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