Monday, April 22, 2013

Last week

I'm still trying to recover from last week, so many things happened and many days I was glued to the TV wondering if this was all a nightmare.

First the Boston Bombings, then the explosion just South of us here in Texas, then my Grandma being admitted to the hospital, a crazy storm hitting us, Bob having finals, my Grandpa getting sick and then just the everyday life of trying to keep going.

I'm still in shock of the Boston events, I can't believe it happened and I'm distraught by it.  I was at work when I looked at FB and seen that it happened.  I thought it was a joke honestly.

Then I got home and I couldn't get my eyes off the TV.  These innocent people doing what they love and BAM, just like that.

Then the explosion down south, I turn on the news Wednesday night and I couldn't believe my eyes.  It was just crazy.  I had just received a phone call that my Grandma as at the ER.  And her phone shut off.  I couldn't get a hold of her, I had no clue where she was and I was worried sick.  So I stayed up waiting for her to call again and nothing.  Finally fell asleep around 11:40 and at 3am I was woke up by a loud BOOM.  Storms here are insane.  They hit hard and it just pours.

Normally my grandparents take the boys if the weather is bad, but my Grandma ended up getting admitted.  Two years ago she received a kidney transplant and she was severely dehydrated and they were worried she was losing her kidney.  Thankfully, she is good.  So I had to go to work late on Thursday to take the boys to school so that they were safe. 

Then Friday during lunch, my Grandpa looked really bad, I wasn't sure what was wrong, but he left the table for the car and for the rest of the day and all day Saturday he was pretty sick.  He is thankfully better now too.

Last week was just long, had struggles with my kids.  Its hard to be a parent and then put the crazy things in this world happening and its enough to put you in a slump.  Add moving 1400 miles away from your family to that and well basically you turn into a WRECK.

Saturday I spent a good portion of the day feeling sorry for myself.  I hate these days and for some reason I can't snap out of them.  I have to have a good cry and then tell myself to get over it.  Its hard though, I'm hitting the months of my kids birthdays and it'll be the first time I haven't been around my family.  Its hard to not think about all the things I shared with my family.  My problem is that I think too much.  If I can get through the next 9 months without having to be admitted, it'll be a miracle.  This is sooooo hard, so much harder than I thought.

Lex said to me last week "Mommy, why did you take me away from Grandma?"  She really made me think and then she asked it again and I just cried.  She said "Mommy, you miss Grandma too!"  Yes Lex, I do, more than I will ever be able to explain.  I miss the talks with my Mom, I miss going over and sitting with her on Fridays, I miss going to CafĂ© Rio with her, I miss watching her with her Grandchildren and how nothing else matters when they are around.

So this week, I'm challenging myself to not get back into the slump I got into last week.  Count my blessings, because my life really is good.  Keep my head up, think positive and know that even though my family is far away, they are and always will be in my heart.

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