Wow, its been a week....

There is no way that I want to repeat this week, unless I can just start over on Friday and call it good.

My horrible week started Friday, at that time I didn’t know, but it did. I gave it to my boys on getting a dog and well that didn’t go over so well. The sweet looking little thing actually had a ferocious side to him and bit my Husband and Ashton. So bye-bye the dog went! I know many people are thinking “you already have a dog.” Well we did and this is a hard subject for me to discuss because I miss Sadie dearly, she was the best dog and we will never ever be able to replace her. But two days before Bob’s surgery she went to a new home, she was sick and wasn’t eating and was acting really weird, so we found her a new home so we wouldn’t have to put her down. My kids miss her terribly and I feel bad for them, they gave up a lot this past year and I would do anything to be able to give it all back to them. So after much debating and tears I gave in to a dog again and it didn’t go over well. I tried explaining to Jax that we would get a dog when the time was right. I want a small dog, no bigger than 10lbs. So this may take time, but we will see.

After that, Saturday was a good day, we spent the entire day at Boondocks playing and having a good time. We won over 4,000 tickets and came home with quite the goodies.

Then Sunday came and it was the worse day ever. I wasn’t sure I should talk about it on here which is why it has taken me so long. I have had to clear my mind and calm myself down to do it. And I hope that no one looks at me as the world’s worst mother.
So I was getting Lexi is the bath, I had just gotten done straightening my hair and had unplugged my flat iron and left it where I always do. Well on the way into the bath, Lexi grab the cord to it and the flat iron fell right on her leg and burnt her. It still makes me cry thinking about it. She cried for maybe 2 minutes, I cried the entire day. I couldn’t believe that this had happened to my baby girl and it could’ve been prevented. She is fine, just has three burn marks, two of them are pretty bad and then one small one on her foot. And now I just feel like the world’s worst mother and can’t get over it, every time I clean it, I cry.

So after that then came Monday, it was a long day, I hadn’t gotten rid of the dog yet, because everyone was closed and I had no where to take him. I didn’t sleep that night worrying about everything and then I went to work for a couple of hours and left to take the dog to his previous owners. That was fun!

Then Tuesday I was thinking was going to be a good day until after work when we were at home and I hear this big bang and Jaxon comes running down…”HURRY MOM, its an emergency, Ashton is hurt.” I think my life flashed right before my eyes, because I wasn’t sure I could take one more thing. Well Ashton had decided to try to fly, he thinks he can fly, I have tried explaining over and over and over and over again that he CANNOT fly, but it won’t listen. So he decided to try to prove himself right. He climb all the way up onto the top bunk, got his chair and put it on the edge of the bunk bed and tried to stand on that only to fall 6ft instead. He currently has a swollen face, with a black eye and a bruised cheek. He still hasn’t learned his lesson and I am not sure when he will.



Wednesday seem to get better I didn't do anything that would possibly get me in trouble or make something go bad. I made no tough decisions on anything and I made sure Lexi was clear of all things that could hurt her. Lexi seemed to be in a really good mood. This little girl is growing up right before my eyes.



So its Thursday and this could always make you smile.....



Even if it is impossible to get Jaxon to smile.

Going back in time....

I love pictures. I can't live without my pictures and I cherish each and everyone of them. These are some of my favorite pictures. Pictures say a thousand words and these are some that I found that I scanned on Monday, so enjoy, they are from all different times.



Bob and I when we first started dating



My whole family on my wedding day




My Dad giving me away



Me on my way to get married



Me on my wedding day



Me in 2002



My sister Miranda and I




Me when I first tried on my dress




Me with Brandi Coats daughter Khyla, Brandi, my sister Miranda, my sister Autumn and Greg Brown




My sister Miranda, Melenna, Me and Bobby Brown




Jessica and I at MORP in 2000




My sisters and I. It goes Autumn as the witch, me in the middle and Miranda as a bunny.




My Mom and Dad




My whole family



Miranda and I in 2002 in Yellowstone




My Mom and Dad in 2002




My sisters and me in Las Vegas





My sister Miranda and I.

Week 1

After eating a salad for lunch everyday, a healthy breakfast and a normal dinner and working out 3 times this week, I am happy to announce that I lost 6lbs. I am very proud of myself. I cannot wait to lose 44 more. And by the way, I couldn't feel my legs today, I worked out so hard yesterday that I am still feeling it.

Lexi 8 month pictures.

Sorry these pics took forever, we have had a very eventful week. We found out Thursday that Lexi's heart is getting worse, so we might be going in sooner than March to get a heart cath. I will keep everyone updated. Just please pray for things to get better, this is so hard.

8 Months old

Its hard to believe that my little girl is growing up so quickly. I hate it! I wish she could stay little forever, never have to worry about the day to day things that us grown ups have to worry about or the day to day life and stress and all that. I love that she is innocent and doesn't have a clue and relies on me. I love that, is that selfish? Lexi amazes me every month, sometimes I have to remind myself that she was premmature. She is my teeny tiny little girl and that will never change. The other day I was going through her clothes (by the way I have 4 totes full of clothes) and I was looking at her pajamas from when she was in the hospital and I was amazed that she once fit into them. She is so tall now. She currently wears 9 month clothes, I never thought she would be at 9 month clothes at 8 months, well I was wrong.

So some things about my little girl this month:

*She has FINALLY cut her first tooth and boy has it been a yucky teething time.

*She hates socks, she won't keep them on no matter how many times I put them on.

*She doesn't like baby food and is currently boycotting them all.

*She loves people food, I gave her stuff and Christmas and its been all downhill from there.

*She has decided she likes to chew on a pacifer, not suck, but chew.

*She loves her toys, the girl will sit and play with her toys for a good hour.

*She started crawling, but she gets lazy and sometimes doesn't lift her tummy up, so she army crawls.

*She loves to stick her tongue out.

*She still sucks her thumb, but not as much as she use too.

*She is a Momma's girl, she loves me and I am so thankful for that.

*She sleeps all night still, normally she sleeps from 7pm to 5am and then will go back to sleep from 5:30am to 8am and then I wake her up.

*She likes remotes, cell phones and anything that isn't hers.

*She got her first boo boo by taking a head time onto our hard wood floor and it broke my heart more than hers.

*She still has Mommy and Daddy wrapped right around those tiny little fingers and we are just amazed by her.

Lexi, you are the light of my life. I can't believe that 8 months has gone by so fast. Thanks for picking us as your parents, we love you so much!! Love Mommy & Daddy!

PS. Pics to come soon, she is currently in cranky mode because more teeth are coming in.

Lifestyle change

Tomorrow, I am started my weight loss challenge. I am making changes to my eating and exercising habits and will hopefully by June be down about 50 lbs. Its going to be a struggle, but I have no doubt that I can't do it. I am tired of feeling the way I do about myself and I am the only the can change it. So here comes a good breakfast, salad for lunch and a good dinner and walking atleast twice around the block until its warmer to run.

I did great right after I had Lexi I was down almost 30 lbs, but it wasn't healthy weight, it was stress and not eating. This time I am doing it right. I don't drink any soda but Sprite and I am saying bye-bye to it tomorrow.

I will be tracking my success on the side to help me keep my goal where I want it. So wish me luck!!!

A date

I think the only reason I have dreaded this year is knowing what the first couple of months bring. I knew I would have to schedule Lexi's Cardiology appt to get things figured out, I know I will have to face the reality of what is really wrong with her and I know that at times I am going to cry. So today I got the letter, the one that says, its time. I had tears come down my face as I thought about it all. I don't think anything hurts worse than seeing your child sick or hurt. Lexi looks fine and is doing great. She is eating good now, I finally figured out she hates baby food, so I try my hardest to give her what we are eating if she can eat it or I give her something I know she might eat. She of course still has her bottle, but lately the girl likes to eat and I am happy with that. She hasn't had any turning blue incidents in a little bit (knock on wood!). She is getting up on her hands and knees to pretend like she is going to crawl. So all these things I am thankful for, I am also thankful for Primary Childrens, I am so happy there is a childrens hospital so close and that I don't have to travel to another state to get the help we need. Through all of this I am just going to be thankful that its not worse and that things can be fixed. So our date is March 3rd to get the plan in place and I am scared to death, but anxious to get it over with. She will be 9 months in February and that is the time they are giving her PDA and PFO to close up. So I am still keeping my fingers crossed that it will and that everything will be okay. Miracles do happen!!!

My Best Friends wedding

On January 1st my friend of a long time Lindsey got married. We have known each other since we were 3. Its a crazy story! But they found my Mom up a tree pregnant with my little sister in California, we became friends then, started Kindergarten together and then they moved to Utah and so did we. We stayed here, but they moved to Arizona and then to Hawaii where her Dad retired and then they made their way back here. I am so happy for her! She has been through quite a bit in the last 2 years, but held strong through it all. I think Phil was sent to her for a reason and he is so good to her and her son Jase. Congrats Lindsey and Phil!!!