Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Three years ago

At this time three years ago, I was sitting in a waiting room, there were about 20-30 other people in there and I was sitting by the window, I watched life flight land twice, I watched cars pull in and out and I watched people come and go.

At that moment I had no clue what I was in for, I had no clue that Bob would be in surgery until 8pm that night and I had no clue that he would have to be revived twice.

This day means to much to me as do the doctors who saved my Husbands life.  He shouldn't be here today and we just realize more and more that the small blessings are the things that count.  I couldn't imagine having to raise my three kids without their Dad or having to explain to them that Daddy wasn't coming home.

I still live in fear everyday.  Bob will never be out of the woods, he has to see a cardiologist every single year and sometimes more.  He has to have a cardiac MRI and heart cath.  He may someday require a heart transplant.  I can't explain how I feel or expect people to understand.  I think I do way better now than I did even a year ago.  I'm stronger, I can talk about it without crying and I know more about the heart today than I ever did.

Bob and I are in a great place today, we've learned to go without and that having all the big things doesn't make you a better person.  We've learned who are true friends are and gained a lot of friends a long the way. 

So here is to the last three years, I wouldn't change a thing!

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