The Holidays are now in full swing...its obvious, the leaves have changed colors, people have put decorations up in their house, children are getting ready for the first of many holidays starting tomorrow with Halloween. This year, I just am not as excited as previous years...its been a horrible year, I have watched a friend suffer a severe loss and sat an cried with her just thinking about it, I have watched her son cry because he doesn't have a Dad to come to school and talk to his class about what he does. I have watched another really good friend sit beside her brothers side wondering when will be his last breathe and listen to her cry to me when she doesn't know how to tell his daughters that their Daddy isn't going to make it. I lost a good friend this year myself, someone I thought I could tell anything to, someone whose shoulder I could cry on when I was having a bad day or needed to talk to someone about something that was happening. I have watched our economy hit rock bottom, our gas prices sky rocket wondering how I was going to get to work the next day because I couldn't afford to put gas in my car. I have watched two great men run for President and have the hardest time making a decision that is going to affect me and my Country that I love so much. I have watched the news and seen people that are struggling worse then I am and wonder why I am worrying about stupid things, but still trying to figure it out. I listened to a dear friend at work cry to me when her son's best friend died and she struggled with getting him through this wondering why it happened. I watched my husbands Aunt cry looking at what was left of her house after some IDIOT decided that it would be great to burn it down and at the same time I thought about how thankful I was to have a roof over my head. I have listened to people talk about how much money their going to spend on Christmas, wondering how I was going to buy the things I wanted for my kids. I have cried many tears and had many sleepless nights this year, I have had many great moments also that I will cherish forever.
Is anyone else feeling this way? Is anyone feeling as overwhelmed this Holiday season as me? Is anyone feeling that it just doesn't seem right, like something is missing? Is it really just me?
Last week I was talking to a really good friend, she has known me since I was 2, she is my best friend Lindsey's sister, Deanne, she has a son that is handicap, Tyler. Tyler is in a wheelchair, he is completely deaf and blind, but he is the most adorable, fun loving child ever, he wasn't suppose to make it past 3 years old and he will turn 10 in November. He makes me smile when I am around him, he brings so much to this world, he is a miracle and God couldn't have picked better parents for him. Deanne is someone I look up to a lot, she has so much strength in her and the other day while I was talking to her I just bursted into tears telling her how I didn't want Christmas to come this year and wondered if we could just skip it...she said that I couldn't do that and she is right. She said..."Sierra, last year I was standing in line to check-out and this very kind old guy was behind me and asked me how my Holiday season was going and I told him that it was stressful." He said..."Ma'am, don't let it stress you out, growing up I taught my kids what Christmas was all about. They would get 4 gifts every year, something they wanted, something they needed, something to wear and something to read." This thought stayed in my mind for awhile, because its true, Christmas should not be about what you get or want, but about family and being thankful that they are still here to enjoy it together. I am so thankful I have my family here to enjoy the Holidays this year. I need to make a promise to myself to try and be more positive, because it seems that I have just been really down lately and at times find myself crying for no reason.
P.S. I have lots of FUN stuff to post, but I can't download any of pictures, but promise to have them up this weekend.
4 comments:
I think we all feel this way at times and some years are just hard plain and simple. Don't feel bad for feeling down, and where this time of year is fun it can be filled with stress and sadness as well, when life just isn't going right. I think I understand a little of what you are going through, I have to keep reminding myself to not will the next few months by but just try to enjoy them and remember what's important in life. Hang in there, it will get better!
I am so sorry for all that you've been through lately. It's hard to celebrate anything when all you want to do is be sad. I really like what your friend told you about what the older gentleman told her. I hope you don't mind if I write it on my blog. I want to remember that. It's just a good reminder.
I love your blog...you always give me so much to think about. I completely agree with you, Christmas can be so stressfull, it always feels like you are trying to keep up with everyone else. We so often forget the true meaning of Christmas, and how blessed we are to have this special time with our loved ones. Thanks for the reminder this year, I think I needed to hear that.
I remember feeling that way last year during the holidays. Sometimes it's hard to let ourselves enjoy the beauty of Christmas when there is sooo much sadness in the world and amongst our loved ones. I know that you will start feeling a little bit of the magic of the holidays when you see it reflected in your boy's eyes. I'm hoping that 2009 will be a much more promising year for you!
Love ya friend!
Post a Comment