I wish I could say this was easy, but its not and I have found that the only thing that keeps me calm is listening to music, my two favorite songs right now are It won't be like this for long, sung by Darius Rucker and then My Little Girl by Tim Mcgraw. I have to remind myself that it won't be like this for long, soon she will be home in my arms and I will be able to look at her and touch her whenever I please. She is absolutely beautiful and everything I dreamed of and more...
I find myself breaking down at the weirdest moments, like tonite at dinner, I just knew something was missing, she wasn't there. Or today when I went to the store and seen someone carrying in a baby carseat and knew that I should be too. Or after I called the nurse today to check on her, I lost it, because I miss her so much, her cute little face is on my mind 24/7. It won't go away and I don't want it too either.
Lexi is doing okay, she doesn't care to eat, she would rather sleep through her feedings than eat. Today at the 2:30 feeding she acted like she wanted to eat and was all awake and bright eyed, but wanted nothing to do with eating after about 10 minutes. I am told this is perfectly normal until 36 weeks gestation, she is 36 weeks on Thursday, so I am praying this gets better with time. Its hard, I told myself I could handle a week, but I really think its going to be 2 to 2 and half weeks before she is home. This routine is crazy, her feedings are 5:30am, 8:30am, 11:30am, 2:30pm, 5:30pm, 8:30pm, 11:30pm and 2:30am. I stay home for the 11:30pm to 5:30am and go to all the others. They last about an hour to and hour and 15 minutes. It is so exhausting, I have no time to eat or breathe, I get home and turn around and leave again. I took the 5:30pm feeding off tonite to spend with my boys and have dinner with them and of course it was the hardest thing ever.
All I know is that life is crazy and I CANNOT wait for it to get better. I will keep everyone updated. Thanks for the uplifting comments, they really do help!
2 comments:
So I have to tell you hopefully it will help. They always said the same thing for Luke we brought at about 39 weeks gestation he was there for 10 weeks the last four or so he was all but ready and the only thing we were waiting for was him to eat, and he just would not. I was so discouraged every time and then all of sudden seriously like clock work at 35 and a half weeks he just got it, it's like a lightbulb just clicks on in their little heads and they just do it! We would have gotten to take him home at 37 weeks but he developed a few more minor problems, but the eating man he was a champ at that and just all of a sudden just like they said. It will happen, you are amazing to me Sierra, just keep hanging in there...
Sorry meant to say we brought him home at 39 weeks gestation that whole sentence doesn't make sense.
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