Love...

Yesterday, I received the news that I have waited two LONG weeks for. I know many people wait months and months, but these two weeks were the hardest two weeks of my life. I had every emotion possible going on and no one could say or do anything to make me feel better. But I know I had so many people praying for us and trying to keep my spirits up. There was nothing that I wanted more though than my baby girl to be home with us. It was not only hard for me, but for my boys too. Jaxon and Ashton didn't understand and there was no way I could explain to them what was going on. Ash would cry everytime I left to go to the hospital and that would always make me upset. One of the nurses had said to me on the phone one night when I had a breakdown that she felt bad for me, she said its like a baby jail. The babies are behind locked doors, we are told when we can and can't come, we are told how long we can hold our babies and we are told when they will go home. She said that she couldn't say anything to make me feel better, so that she wouldn't try, but to know that they care about us just as much as they care about those sweet innocent babies they are taking care of. She was right and I will leave it at that. So yesterday I got up early in preparation for my day, I couldn't sleep, I was sick to my stomach and I wanted to know what we were facing today. I went in thinking that once again, I wouldn't get to bring my sweet little girl home, but hoping that someone would tell me otherwise. Lexi had gone almost 3 days with no desats and she was eating so good. The nurse said to me.."I think you have a pretty good chance going home, did you bring her carseat?" I told her no, that I didn't want to get my hopes crushed again so I left it at home. She advised she didn't want to either, but that she was 95% sure we would be going. WOW!! So I sat and debated for about 30 minutes on whether I should get it or not. Bob and I finally agreed we would get it, but when we got back to meet the doctor at noon, we wouldn't take it in. We left for the hospital at 11:30 and didn't take the seat in, I had butterflies in my stomach, I was pacing the floor and I was HOT!! I kept looking at that sweet little face and a tear would roll down my cheek. The doctor arrived shortly after we did and she reviewed her paper work, said everything looked good, and she would be back. Can I tell you that the 15 minutes she was gone seemed like a lifetime. She came in and said.."Okay, I am going to discharge your little girl today!" and I about hit the floor. I couldn't believe it! I was so excited all I could do was smile. She said Lexi is doing awesome, she needs to go to the doctor in 2 days to see her pediatrician and then she would like us to get her heart murmur looked at Primary Childrens just has a precaution (Bob, my Husband has a VSD and it never closed).

So we finally ESCAPED and it feels great, but weird! I had to tell myself that Yes, she is HOME for good and YES I can do whatever I want to take care of her. And the best part, is the boys finally got to meet this little girl that we talked about for 2 weeks straight. Jaxon first said "Oh Mom, she is beautiful!" And Ash just completely adores her and is so over protective, he totally loves her and smiles when he is around her. They both cannot stop staring at her. I am so happy....FINALLY A FAMILY OF 5 and I love it!!!