A few bumps in the road...

There is nothing in this world I hate more than seeing my kids in pain or have something wrong. It breaks my heart into a million pieces and is so undescribable.

Today Lexi had a follow up appointment, basically we go to the doctor every two weeks until she is three months old, because she was born early. So the good news is that she weighs 8lbs 0oz and is 21 1/2 inches long, she is definately growing and that is a great sign. She gained a pound since her last appointment two weeks ago and 1/2 an inch. So the bad news is that she still has the heart murmur, he thinks it could be a VSD, so we meet with the cardiologist of Monday for an ECHO. This could mean two things, either that it will close up on its own, but will have to be watched closely or she will have to have surgery to repair it. I hear the words SURGERY and I cringe, it makes me sick to my stomach. My poor baby has been through enough and to top it off she has a hernia too, the good thing about this is they give it a year to go away and if it doesn't they do surgery. I can handle the hernia, I can handle anything, but a heart problem scares the LIVING crap out of me. I knew something was going on, because almost at every feeding Lexi turns blue, she stops breathing for like 5 seconds and it scares me, I have to yell at her and get her to breathe.

I feel so overwhelmed with emotions, a part of me is saying.."don't worry Sierra, everything will be okay, it will all work out!" The other part is telling myself to just break down and cry and is wondering what is next. I have done pretty good with holding it together lately, I haven't cried at all, I have felt so blessed to finally have her home. But I feel like we have hit some bumps in the road...All I ask is that if you could spare some extra prayers, please pray hard for Lexi that everything will work out. I know prayers work and she could use them right now. Thanks everyone.