Fears

Not sure what has gotten into me, but I have so many fears lately and they scare me even more now than ever. And maybe this relates a little as to why I am feeling the way I am. On Friday, I got Lexi out of bed around 7am and brought her to my bed to feed her. She was fine, she smiled at me and took her bottle. About 2 minutes into her feeding I noticed she was turning blue, so I took her bottle out and her mouth and everything was blue/purple. At first I was freaking, my heart hit the floor and my stomach was sick, but then I thought that maybe she just had a stuffy nose. But as I thought about it for the next couple of days, it didn't seem normal to me. She also has been showing signs of being sleepier, she is ready for bed at 6pm instead of 7:30pm, she wants to take a nap when we get home from work, she doesn't have a whole lot of energy and I am worried sick. I know as a Mother, we may tend to worry too much, but how much is too much? I can't imagine anything happening to my little girl or any of my kids, I don't think I would ever be the same. So I have placed a call to Lexi's cardiologist who hopefully will get back to me soon to tell me that either...A. She is fine and its normal. B. It sounds like she may slowly be going into heart failure and lets do another Echo, heart cath and all that fun stuff. This is so hard, while I sit back and try and be patient, at the same time I worry everyday of my life and every second. I try to not let Bob know that I am worried and I try to keep as much of it in as possible, but I can't anymore, because I really am struggling. I want everything to be okay, I want her to be okay, I want to know that her heart will be just fine and I want my mind clear. So I am asking for all my lovely friends to please pray for my little girl, I think she could use the extra prayers right now and we all know they work or Bob wouldn't be here. I am praying hard.

P.S. Thanks to all, I promise my next post WILL have pictures and WILL be a happier post.