Finally!

I have very good news, news that I promise will not be spoiled with bad news in like 2 weeks. I looked back today and wondered how I made it to today. I will admit that July 17th was the scariest day of my life. I have never been so scared in my life to lose a family member and let alone my Husband. I can't describe that feeling, its horrible! I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate and I couldn't talk. I remember after the surgeon called me when Bob was taken back to the OR that I hit the floor, I told the family liason (SP?) in the waiting room that I couldn't tell my kids that their Dad was going to die. She hugged me and told me that we just needed to pray and hope for the best. I called my Mom shortly after that to tell her to head back home as they had taken the kids up to Yellowstone so they wouldn't have to see their Dad at his worse. I didn't want them to go through that and I am so thankful I made that decision. My Mom cried with me on the phone and talked me through it. I then called Bob's ex to tell her the situation so that she knew what was going on. She cried, I have never in the 6 years I have known her seen her show any emotion towards Bob. She talked to me forever and we continued to keep in touch for the next couple of weeks through text. I was thankful for this and its what I needed. I did't like the women as she was very hateful and rude all the time, but she has changed for the best.
When I walked into the SICU and seen Bob I hit the floor, I screamed and cried and threw a fit, I couldn't believe I was seeing my Husband the way he was. The surgery was only suppose to be 4 hours and it was suppose to be easy and everything. He wasn't suppose to come out on life support, but he did. I remember asking the nurse if he was going to die and she assured me that everything was normal. NORMAL, what is normal, normal to me is not that. She sat and explained everything to me for an hour, she said she would not be leaving his side for her entire shift. I thought at that moment that my whole life came crashing down. I cried the entire way home from the hospital, I still to this day don't know how I made it home. I cried so hard that I couldn't see. When I picked up my baby girl, I looked at her and lost it again. My neighbor held me and told me everything would be okay. She said "Sierra there are so many people praying for your family and everything will be fine." I couldn't believe that at the moment. It was scary! I cried myself to sleep that night, the thought kept going through my head of "how would I go on without my Husband, the guy who works his butt off for his family, loves me unconditionally no matter how ornery, stubborn or hard headed I am?" I didn't sleep that night, I tossed and turned, I called 4 times to check on Bob, each time being told that he was doing awesome! Its so weird to think about that day, I hate it, I never ever want to relive it again.
So today while at the surgeons office for the results from his MRI, Bob said something about how he doesn't remember anything from those first couple of weeks. The surgeon said "yeah you probably won't, but your wife will remember it for the rest of her life." Its true, I live with it everyday, I know that God was watching over my family, my prayers were answered, someone took me threw those hards times, someone got me home that night and someone led me each step of the way and continues. So the good news is that my Husband is better than ever, his heart is perfect. The surgeon said "So Bob I don't need to see you again ever, unless its in passing or to stop and say HI". Wow I almost hit the floor, I can't explain the emotion, but I now will be able to move on with my life and focus on other things. He told Bob, go running, lift your weights again, play with your kids and live your life. YAY!! I am so thankful to Dr Seltzman who took wonderful care of my Husband, without him this miracle and blessing would not be good. I am so thankful to all the medical staff at the U that took such wonderful care of my Husband and me while I had my meltdowns. And last but certainly not least the many of people who have prayed with me and for us. I have the best family and friends. Thanks!