Why does this have to end?

Wow, I can't believe I go back to work a week from today! These last 13 weeks have been the hardest of my entire life. But I have learned so much, I have learned that I am a lot stronger than what I thought. I have learned who my true friends are and who I can count on at any time. This whole roller coaster ride has brought me closer to my family! I know its sad to say that, but truly it has in a good way, not that I wasn't close to them before, but there were little things that needed mending. My Dad has let me cry on his shoulders several times, he has held me when I didn't know if everything was going to be alright. He has been there to keep my spirits up and keep me going. I have always been close to my Mom, but our relationship is so close now. I have cried to her several times on the phone when I didn't know whether Bob was okay or not, she of course cried with me. Its always good to have a good cry and I have had many these last 13 weeks. She was there for me when Lexi was in the hospital, she came with me to see Lexi, she reassured me that everything was going to be fine when I didn't know if it would be. My sister Miranda has been there for me through this whole ride, she went in with me when I had Lexi, she held my hand and kept me calm. I was scared to death, I have never been so scared in my life. She came and sat with me for 5 and half LONG hours at the hospital until Bob was in ICU and then walked with me back there and is the only one that I can truly say saw Bob at his worse besides myself. She helped me with Lexi and cared for her to the best and of course spoiled her. I have wonderful friends who came late at night to be there when Bob received a blessing, have brought me dinner, listened to me, let me vent, let me cry and have offered every kind of care or help possible. They have brought me cards, treats and so many other things to keep me going. I also have some of the most wonderful neighbors, my neighbors right next to me the Volks brought me dinner every night that Bob was in the hospital, they watched Lexi everyday but two, they set up dinners for us for 2 weeks after Bob got out of the hospital and they have taken care of our lawn and garbage. I cannot say or tell them how thankful I am, but seriously they have been lifesavers in more ways then I can ever explain. I don't know how I would've made it through this whole thing without all this help or love, I think about it everyday. I never thought I was going to spend my 13 weeks of maternity leave in hopsitals every week or watching my Husband go through one of the toughest surgeries ever, it never even crossed my mind. When we went for Bob's check-up, we thought it was going to be one where they say "Okay, everything is fine, see ya in 6 months!" But nope, we were told at his very first appt that things didn't look good and that he might die. I don't think I have ever cried so hard in my life. Now here we are almost 3 weeks since Bob's surgery and he is doing okay, he isn't the best, but he is getting there and I am determind to not let him give up. Right now he is going through the emotional side, having a hard time not being able to do things, struggling with some of the pain and a few other things, but once again, I am trying my hardest to keep his spirits up.

So yeah, I go back to work on Wednesday next week and I am a little nervous, scared and sad! I am sad to leave my kids, I have enjoyed spending a lot of time with them. I am sad to leave my little girl that I feel I fought so hard for and sad to leave her cute little smile that makes me smile. But I know she is in good hands and I couldn't be more thankful for my family for watching my kids. But on Wednesday it is back to reality and next we deal with Lexi's problems, that hopefully are better now or the holes have closed up so we can hear the words "NO SURGERY!!!" So please pray and pray and pray that Lexi won't have to have surgery and that we get the best news ever. Thanks everyone!!!