Oh What I would do to be a kid again! Have no worries, run around like an animal, sleep when I wanted, have food made for me, not have bills to pay, not have to work, not have to worry about the way I looked or how I felt. Although I love being a Mom more than anything, at times it is very challenging. I find myself worrying about the weirdest things, like yesterday I debated for about 6 hours on whether I wanted to take the boys swimming today or not. I have a fear of my kids drowning, it scares me more than anything and I worry about it and get sick to my stomach over it. I worry about something bad happening to my kids more now than I ever have. I can't tell if this is all because of everything I have been through lately or just a normal thing a mother goes through. I love my kids more than I could ever say! I can't imagine anything bad ever happening to them, I am not sure I could ever move on with life. I am so protective over Lexi too, especially since I have found out she has a heart problem, nothing scares me more than to have to go through with Lexi what I just went through with my Husband. I have nightmares about this, I sometimes find myself in a daze thinking about it, I just want my little girl to be healthy, I already think she is perfect and no one could ever change my mind about that. Right now I think I need prayers of strength, Lexi goes for her appt. on September 2nd, I am preparing myself for the worse, but hoping and praying for the best. I know in the end, everything will work out, but I still worry and have a good reason too, I believe. Thanks everyone!!
2 comments:
I know it would be nice to go back in time just for a day to be a kid again, there is not a greater feeling than knowing your parents are taking care of all of your problems for you.
I think your fears probably are coming from all you have been through the last few months or at least being magnified a bit....to this day I still worry obsessivley over Luke, I think it is something I will always do given there rocky start in life, you know.
Ahh I loved being being a kid. It was so nice not to have to worry and to have all that energy! I totally get what you mean with the worrying thing. I am a big worrier anyway, but it is so much worse now that I am a mom! I agree that your worrying being worse has a lot to do with what you have been through this year. I really hope Lexi's appointment goes well and you won't have to see anymore hospitals this year!
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