This week has been crazy and a lot has happened. Sunday I started having the lovely pains that I had awhile ago with my incision, but I kind of just let it go and tried not to worry about it. Sunday night I didn't sleep, I maybe got an hour of sleep if that. I stayed up worrying about weird things...like, are they sure its a girl? Hello, her room is pink, how embarassing if its not a girl. Yes, it has been confirmed three times, so I am 95% sure it is a girl, the other 5% I don't even know. Then I worry about if she comes early, right now I am scheduled for plan time the last week of May, from May 25th through the 29th and my maternity leave starts June 1st. But nothing goes as planned, it didn't with Jaxon and it surely didn't with Ashton. But the reason for my worry is that I get 13 weeks paid, so that would put me due back September 7th, but I have taken the week planned because Jaxon starts school and I want to be able to take him the first couple of weeks. So I have 15 weeks planned and its seems so perfect. The whole summer off with my boys and a brand new baby girl, enjoying days at the park and just be able to do what we want. I love it! Does it seem to good to be true, yes it does and thats why I am worrying about all this.
So to continue my week, Monday morning my Mom calls me at work crying, I am thinking "what could be wrong that she is crying so hard?" As I get her calmed down she tells me..."your Dad won't be here when Lexi is born." You can imagine the thoughts running through my head, I am thinking, okay, is he sick? Did he find out something bad? What is going on? Well my Dad has to go to Korea and yes it sucks really bad, so bad that I sat and cried with my Mom while she told me she didn't want him to go and that she would miss him. He is going to miss his first Grand daughter being born and it breaks my heart, but I know its his job and I know that someone has to do it. But my Mom also has not been doing good, my Mom has MS (Multiple Scerosis), most people are in a wheel chair that have this, but my Mom is not. She is one of the strongest people I know, she is a hard working, determined and doesn't let this bring her down. But she is losing feeling in her arm and leg, I hate it. I hate seeing my Mom go through this, and she doesn't complain about it and doesn't let anyone know how she really is feeling. Everytime my Dad has left to go TDY, my Mom has an MS attack. Yes, part of it is because she stresses and thats one thing she can't do, but who wouldn't when your Husband or spouse is thousands of miles away in some foreign country.
So I went to bed that night worrying once again about my Mom, she means the world to me, she is always there for me, she is my inspiration and someone I look up to dearly. My Dad is also worried about her, he asked that we make sure she is taken care, which she will be.
Well yesterday was a horrible day at work, everything that could go wrong, did. I think I am just at the end of my pregnancy where everything bothers me more than it should. I have zero patience, I find my kids annoying me with things that wouldn't normally and I hate it. I am tired, exhausted and I feel so uncomfortable. So thats why my body decided to start contracting on Tuesday, what a perfect time? Why not add on something else right? Well not only am I contracting, but my pain has gotten worse. So I came home from work today and took a nap and tried to clear my mind, but I can't. I have thousands of things running through my head and blogging about it seems to help. I can't wait for this week to be over. So thanks for listening and sorry about the complaining, but I kind of feel better.
P.S. My Dad leaves the first week in May and will be gone for 8 weeks (doesn't seem very long). Please pray for him and my Family, especially my Mom, she will need the extra prayers. Thanks guys!
Also, I go to the doctor next week, so I will have the news on what he says. My contractions are not bad, just uncomfortable.
4 comments:
Oh I hate bad weeks, I am with you writing out all of your frusterations really does help, so vent away. I hope the week improves for you, I completely understand worrying about things when they seem to good to be true, I do that all the time, drives Eric crazy!
Its going to be okay cute friend...hang in there. Sounds like a whole lot of crap going on, but the end is in sight. You wouldn't be a mom if you didn't worry, the two things just go hand in hand. You are such an awesome mom though, I can tell, you are all about your kids and they are lucky to have you. I will keep you all in my prayers, most of all sweet baby Lexi and your mom. It will all be fine, you'll see!!
I remember being worried that Bella wouldn't be a girl and wondering what I would do with all those pink clothes! It will be okay! You have an awesome Dr (I met him when he had to do my C-section) and I'm sure he knows what he is talking about! I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers!
I will definately keep your family in my prayers! My mom also has MS. She was diagnosed at the age of 19 and lost everything...sight, ability to walk, talk, and feed herself. She recovered fully and is 51 now, and is not in a wheelchair either, and is doing great....you would never know she had it. When we found out my dad had cancer, I not only was stressed and worried about him, but I really worried about my mom too. Stress and fatigue do not mesh well with MS, but she did great! I know how hard it is worring about your family all the time, I do the same thing. But things will be okay, hang in there!
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