Doing something good shouldn't always hurt...

How could you not love that face?

WARNING: This is long, but I need to get it out of me.

I love her and I miss her terribly! Yesterday I received a phone call from one of the guys who bought a puppy from me for his Wife and kids, it was the sweetest thing. He planned it all out, they didn't know about it and he suprised them. He called me to tell me that the puppy died, I was completely caught off guard and broke down. The puppy had went under a recliner and his daughter had sat down not knowing the puppy was under there and reclined the chair and it crushed the little puppy. It was hard for me, because I took care of these puppies for 7 weeks, I watched them come into this world, I fed them, I bathed them and I loved them. It might sound weird to some people, but they became a part of my family and my kids loved them also.

So the guy called to see if I had any puppies left. Of course all I had left was Tabitha, who I had grown to love and had gotten completely attached too. But I knew I still had Sadie (the mommy) and I knew that Tabitha was getting to be too much for me with everything going on. But the thought in my head was "how do I tell my boys?" I decided before I left work that I wanted them to have her, it was the right thing to do and I thought about it long and hard. I called him and told him, he must have said "thank you" 40 times in one minute. He was pretty upset, but I was still trying to figure out how I would tell my boys and not break their hearts. Bob advised me that he wanted to tell Jax the truth. So we got home and sat Jax down and told him that Tabitha's sister died and a little girl was sad she didn't have a puppy anymore and that we were going to give her Tabitha. The look on his face was undescribable, but he held back his tears and said "well there is just one thing I need to tell Tabitha." He picked her up and hugged her and said "I love you Tabitha". I lost it at this point, it was the most heartbreaking moment for me to see my son hurt, but now show it. I couldn't fight back my tears and I went outside to try to help and sat on the front porch, Jax followed me out there and put his arm around me and said "Mommy, I don't want you to cry, Tabitha will be just fine". Its weird, I knew my son had a sensitive side, but wow, he showed so much to me in like 30 minutes that I had never seen. He is a strong kid with a BIG heart and I watched him give his puppy away and tell me that it was okay, even though I knew deep down inside he didn't really want to do it. Its been a lesson learned for me, because I know I did the right thing, but WOW, it has totally broken me into pieces. I felt like I gave a kid away, even though I didn't and NEVER would, but she was the most lovable and sweetest dog and I miss her so much.

Jax said to me this morning that he needed to call the people to bring his dog back, and then he said, "but I think she will be fine, so I guess they can keep her still." He hasn't brought it up since, but I know that he is still thinking of her, because he told his little brother that Tabitha was playing with the little girls at a new house. Such a sweet boy I have and I am so thankful for him everyday, even if he does drive me crazy. Things have just been hard lately and he has made sure to help in everyway he can. Thanks Jax, I love you!!