Losing a friend

This week has been a hard week, honestly THIS YEAR HAS BEEN A HARD YEAR...

I believe I have felt every emotion this week, sad, angry, mad, upset, happy, used, strong, betrayed, touched, tested, thankful, shocked, suprised, aggravated, worried, relieved and last but certainly not least...EXHAUSTED! It has been a whirl wind of emotions and I feel so bad for my family because I know I have taken every bit out on them. I truly am so sorry!

I lost a friend this week (no she did not die) and really the story is the longest story of my life. But basically she betrayed me and lied and did some HORRIBLE things which leads to why my blog is private (to protect my family and myself). She was one of those friends that I looked up to, she was a bridesmaid in my wedding, I have known her for 7 years (since I started at CITI), she was like a sister to me and I counted on her when I needed someone to talk to more than anything in life.

I guess this leads to a lot, I have found out who my true friends are and I would do anything for them and I know they would do for me in return. It just sucks! I really feel like she has died, thats how close we were and how big of a void in my life this is going to be. Its hard to explain, but it just plain sucks! I have cried so many tears this week and I just don't think I have any more to cry. Today I blew up at work, I couldn't take the anger and saddness that had built up in me and I lost it. Unfortunately this person was fired from work (and NO, I had nothing to do with her getting fired). She had done some REALLY REALLY bad things, I can't even begin to explain and furthermore cannot discuss. Some days I think it would just be easier for me to stay home with the boys and move into a smaller house and deal with having NOTHING when crap like this happens. I just don't know how to move on, I believe writing about it helps me, it helps me get out what I need to say. I just need to get past all of this, I want to be a happy person again, I want to be able to laugh about stupid crap again, instead of cry everytime of think of something different.

All I can say to people is make sure you get both sides of EVERY single story before taking action, otherwise you will probably regret it in the end.

Thanks for listening or reading!!!

PS: Misty's brother still isn't doing good, please continue to prayer for their family, this has also been on my mind constantly and it makes me upset to even think about. I know the prayers are being felt and there is a reason he is still here, so PLEASE continue them and thanks for the prayers.