Realization

I've struggled a lot lately.  Trying to find a balance between the reality of my new life and all the crap that is going on in my life.  

Since I've moved here I've become closer to God, no doubt about it.  What I don't get is why I didn't make myself feel that way long before I moved.  Why didn't I put all my faith in God a long time ago?

Here is what I think.

1.  I was so busy living life and things were going good that I guess I didn't feel I needed him.

2.  No one has ever really talked to me about God.  Yeah, I believe there is a higher power and always have.  I pray, but only when I needed too.

3.  I felt like the only time I needed him was when things were tough.

All of those of not good excuses.  WE all NEED God ALL THE TIME.  We need him during good times, bad times, sad times, exciting time and we need him everyday. 

Lately I've prayed my heart out for things.  Things have been rough.  But I know things will work out, I have no doubt.  God keeps showing me that they will.  I just wish I had a little more faith in myself to believe that he is watching out for me.  I'm working on it.  Strengthening my relationship with me. 

All weekend long I was worried about things.  Our financial situation, our house in Utah, my Mom, my boys, worrying about my Mom after the boys leave, starting school for the kids, Lex going to daycare again and Bob's job situation.  There is nothing I can do to control any of these situations.  I'll always worry about my Mom, nothing will  change that.  My financial situation will work out, I've been much worse off in life than now.  My house will sell in Utah, but NOT on MY time.  My Mom will be fine after the boys leave, its just going to be hard for a bit.  My kids are pros at this school stuff and that'll all work out.  Lexi is going to a place where I 110% trust the person and she'll be in good hands.  Bob has a job, who am I kidding, I should feel blessed about that.

And then I show up to church yesterday and the talk is on WORRY.  Who knew?  God did, he knew I needed that talk about it all. 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:24

There it is, God telling me that all my worrying is not going to fix anything.  Live in the moment.  Cherish today. 

So my goal this week.  Don't worry about things that are out of my control.  Let things work out and they will, its just not always on my time.

Happenings

Not really much is happening.

Bob got a NEW job, we are excited and thrilled to see where this takes us.  We knew coming down here that there would be so much more opportunity for us and well we are finding that out everyday.

This week I left early on Wednesday and took the girls to see Turbo, we loved it.  We have never been to the movies this much, we are enjoying it though. 

Its also been SUPER hot.  July was mild for Texas and well they are making up for it in August.  We aren't doing much outside. 

Things are good, we have a bunch things planned for next weekend and I'm excited.

Craft Time

I've been on a crafting kick lately. 

Crafting is my relaxation method.  I love it, I love thinking of things to do.

First, we made crates for the boys for school stuff.  I'll be making Lexi's soon also. 

We also learned how to make things with paracord.  Its fun and we got so into it that we made the dogs collars.

And then I've seen a bunch of canvas stuff on Pinterest and I had to make it.  So....

More crafting fun coming.  We are now doing a monthly crafting day starting this month, I'm excited.  Making a Menu this month.

Boys Summer in Utah Part 3

I can't even describe how much I miss my cute boys.  Most days I can't think about it, because my heart hurts.  I love my kids more than anything.  They are my world and having them in Utah and Us here, has been sooooo hard for me. 

Its kind of hard to talk about them coming home also, because I know my family is going to struggle bad when they leave.  We have solid plans to go to Utah next June for atleast a week and a half, but we don't know if that'll be the next time we see them or what.  I know my boys are also going to struggle, they've been in Utah for over a month now enjoying time with they people that they missed for 6 months.

Midweek Randoms

Bob and I have been working 2 different shifts for about 3 weeks now.  Its crazy, in the 10 years we have been married we have pretty much commuted work together unless one of us was off or it was a Friday, since Fridays are my short day.

Bob got a new job and had to work 8-5, thankfully that is changing in the middle of August and we'll be working together again.  No more wasting 400.00 a pay period on gas.

Also, Lexi is starting a new place for daycare in August.  She'll be going to a friends house.  How thankful I am that I don't have to worry about Lex.

Hopefully things will settle down after the boys get home in August also and I'll feel like a normal person.  I'm ready to get through this first year of being away from home.  I'm not looking forward to the Holidays, when I think about them, I cry.  Last night I had a good hour cry when I finally had to give myself a pep talk.  I know I am here for a reason, God knew this is what I needed and that is why I am here.

We have been pretty busy, its not the hottest summer yet in Texas, but its HOT.  Well atleast this Utah girl thinks so.  We are having fun showing Avery around.  She only has 14 days left and I have 21 days until my boys come home.  Bittersweet!!!